Don’t you just love it when you are talking to a friend and a stranger interjects with their advice?
I was talking to a friend the other day when someone next to us interjected and told us what they would do in my situation. I was shocked as this person did not know the whole story to my situation, nor did they provide me with any qualifiers to let me know they were in expert.
I politely thanked the person for their input and my friend and I moved on about our day. The problem I see with giving advice to others these days, especially if it is unsolicited, is that life is so fluid. The situation that the person is in, although may seem similar to yours, is different. Even if so slightly. Providing advice on what you did based on what happened to you, may not provide the same results.
I have learned over the past few years to not give advice straight out, I have learned to listen to the person asking for help, and then help guide them to find their own answers. I would make suggestions as to what are they thinking about, what options do they have. What will happen if you choice option 1, option 2, etc. I would continue this until all the options have been accounted for.
I have found that my role, in giving advice, is to no longer give it, but to be a guide to help the person asking me find out solutions on their own. By doing this two things happen, One I am not responsible for the outcome, the person asking for advice is. If I were to give advice and things did not work out, I will get the blame, even though I had nothing to do with it, outside of making a suggestion on what I would do. Two, the person asking will start to learn problem solving skills, skills that will take them through future problems and issues.
You see our support system will not always be there for us, we need to learn how to make decisions and take actions on our own without anyone’s input. Learning how to make decisions and take actions is priceless. We also become more accountable for our actions, if things do not work out the way we plan it, it is on us, no one else.