Afraid to Hit

I was scared I never played football before. When I would watch games all you could hear is the collisions, popping sounds, grunts, and yells. I was extremely nervous.

For the first week of practice we did not hit each other, the coaches said this was to help us with the fundamentals, however, for me it just increased the fear and the nerves. On the last practice of the week our head coach laid out what to expect Monday. Full contact he said, yall are ready. I did not think so. In fact the whole weekend I could not sleep and did not eat much. I was scared.

I could not pay attention during school and I barely ate my lunch. As practice got closer I could feel the butterflies in my stomach fly faster and faster. I started to think of ways to get out of practice. Perhaps football was not for me. I could not come up with any good excuse, I think it was God’s way of pushing me as well.

I suited up for practice, went through the warm up drills with the team. Then the coaches split us up. Mainly by position and size. “Suicides!” yelled the coach. I was what is this? The coach explained the drill to us. He would draw a line in the sand, one player would lay down with their heads towards the line, on one side, and the other player on the other side. One person would be defense, the other offense. The offensive player’s goal was to get over the line, the defense, was to prevent the offense from getting to the line. When the coached yelled “Go!” each player would roll over and run toward each other, there was a good 5 to 7 feet between each other. Each person was running full steam at each other. Clash! Some would stop the offensive player, while at times the offensive player would run over the defensive player. If you lost, you had to do pushups.

I was in the defensive line first and I was third in line. So I got to see the other players in front of me, which did not help as it made me even more nervous. When it was my turn I laid down and I could feel my heart racing, this would be the first time I would hit someone, and the first time I would get hit.

When I heard go, I popped up and ran as fast as I could, I think it was the adrenaline flowing through my body. I hit the opposing player and it knocked him off balance, and I was able to tackle him. I felt good, I won the match. I was so excited about it. In fact I was so excited I do even recall the impact. It was either the pads that soften the blow, the adrenaline, or I made the hitting more than what it is.

Well the second round came around, I was now the offensive player. Once again my butterflies were flying and the adrenaline was pumping. I laid down and once I heard go, I popped up and ran towards the line. I hit the other player and kept on going. I won again. I was thrilled! Again I felt no pain. I was starting to really enjoy this hitting thing. In fact I could not wait for the next hitting drill.

For the whole season I did not get hurt and I never felt any pain when I hit someone. People in the stands would say that the sound was loud and they thought someone got hurt on a particular play, but we all popped back up and ran back to the line.

Looking back I learned several things about my “Fear” of hitting. One it was uncalled for. I gave this fear life, when it did not deserve any life. Two: what appears to greater than it is, it is not. And finally, facing your fears and attacking them will provide an experience on the other side that is far greater than the fear itself.

Even today, when fear starts to creep in, I think back to my first year of football and all that I learned, especially when it came to hitting and facing my fears. Sure I was scared, but I am glad that I continued even with the fear. Because what I discovered on the other side was amazing and brought much love and enjoyment for many years to come.